This entire press release just reads like an Onion article. "Giant shoe to drop giveaways, including t-shirts and stress-relieving dumbbells, to screaming fans next week." "Blimp will step foot in the Greensboro Coliseum, and it marks the first chance for fans to catch a t-shirt or redeemable coupon from its sole." "Hello, airplanes? This is blimps. You win." Oh, wait.